Ideal Women by Elena Rossini

The past vs. the present re: idealized womyn. 
why-o-why?

Ask a guy near you and see what he thinks. A guy near me thinks:

“The contrast in today’s idealized body image versus that of classical Europe may be due largely to class constraints. It can be paralleled with today’s obsession of tanned skin in that in classical European society lower class women were largely relegated to manual labour outdoors with very limited diets. The upper class women, however, lived largely sedentary lives indoors and their body types reflected it. Contemporary times have somewhat reversed this in that less wealthy women are typically working inactively indoors and do not posses the time or resources for exercise, diet control or cosmetic surgery. One has to wonder how attainable the ideal female body of the time was to a peasant serf women of the 17^th century.”

Sandstorm, Tuscon, High-end guilt

Adventures with maman to Phoenix, Sedona and Canyon Ranch Health Retreat. I like writing when I travel. And so I do.

Day 3

An aurevoir-family-rocks picture in a friendly cafe in Phoenix before we headed out into the sandstorm. I love these people!

Whoa crazy start to our day! There was a sandstorm of sorts blowing tumbleweeds across the highway as we headed to Tuscon from Phoenix. We were a living video game as we avoided these big rolling weeds amidst the blowing sand. Then there was the getting lost on rural roads with the non-detailed map, missing our befriended TomTom from yesterday. We ended up looping for an hour. Topping this off was trying to get on a busy highway when there were no breaks in traffic to merge. We made a go for it and half the car was stuck on gravel. Somehow my mom pulled through. Whoa. Crazy.

We then arrived to beautiful sunny Tuscon to the most luxious health reatreat ever: Canyon Ranch. It feels like the posh hotels I stayed at with my cousin Lisa in Paris and London a few years back where we had a butler and chocolates left on our pillows every night (the only thing missing here Lisa is TV audio in the shower).

This is what welcomes us outside as we step out of our place at Canyon Ranch.

The all inclusive food is broken down with the number of calories, carbohydrate, protein and fiber, the menu ought to with a calculator.  Although the diner was good it certainly was not a Cholcolatree meal (yes I’m trying to let this place go, it’s just really hard). The activities here are plentiful and are of course all health related although there are a few art related activities too. My schedule for tomorrow: 4 classes of yoga (love!) and a workshop on how to care for my hands and feet (so they are pretty and healthy -there should be much intonation used here).

I have to admit, there this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach about taking advantage of such a high-end place. It’s almost too much. Does this “too much” take away from those who have “too little”? It brings up a lot of stuff to the surface, political moral stuff of course. Do I even dare whine about this? At the same time I feel this grand love for my mom and appreciate this invitation -txs for helping me feel better about this mom! She’s been talking about starting a health retreat of her own some day. Perhaps this shall be great inspiration for this (she’s reading their book on their history behind this retreat as I write). Perhaps this experience will lead me to learn great things and I will be able to share this with others upon my return.  Perhaps I shall leave a healthier and better person. Yes, yes, that’s it, this experience is suddenly justified.

Titbits on Phoenix: Billboards have not invaded this city. There is no grass to cut, just rocks to maintain. There are no potholes, none. The people are generally friendly, just not so much in their cars.

Chocolatree, Sedona, Hip Yuppy

Adventures with Maman to Pheonix, Sedona and Canyon Ranch Health Retreat. I like writing when I travel. And so I do.

Day 2

We woke up to a cloudy day in Sedona, poor me. I come all this way to see clouds? Shouldn’t the sky be rolling its blue carpet pour moi everyday? Anyways I somehow got over it by eleven. We headed back to Chocolatree, where I’m suspecting the goddess eats too. We picked out delectable chocolates for evening dessert and an almond decaf chai late with agave.  The warmhearted friendly waitress suggested “hip yuppy” places to check out in Sedona, the non-tourist kind, and so we went.

Maman in the Chocolatree selecting Chocolate L.O.V.E. Cups for evening dessert.

First stop: Urban Gypsy were modern meets vintage with the best pricing: A little bit for all price ranges. Whom ever does the ordering for this store, big kudos!

Second stop: Crystal Magic where my mom overheard the clerks talking about seeing “something” in the sky last night, UFO sighting occur quite frequently in this region. I on the other hand scored an exquisite leather carrying case for my charmed one. Magical store indeed.

Third Stop: Sedona’s first Hot Yoga studio. It opened up merely 2 months ago. Their studio was small, quaint and friendly and operated with 2 teachers it seemed.

Fourth stop: lunch at Chocolatree, quite shocking really. Apparently there was no better place to eat, so why bother? We ate a fine superfood nutrient rich lunch accompanied by Kombucha. The cook invited us to stroll in their back yard where we found a blossoming almond tree. Very clutch!

Following the "yoga everywhere" trend with Tree pose in one of Sedona's National Parks.

Fifth stop: Crescent Moon National Park. It was a short walk where big trees and grassland were the major attraction. Something quite usual in Edmonton, although the backdrop definitely not usual of Edmonton. We took it upon ourselves to start modeling yoga poses for the camera, a most fun activity with amazing scenery.

Sixth stop: the lets pressure you to buy a time share presentation where vacationing is the most popular verb ever.

Seventh stop: my Uncle George’s amazing ribs. Yum-me. They were so tender they fell off the bone just as they entered our mouth. They were so flavourful the taste teased the pallet endlessly. His trick: boiling the ribs for 2 hours in water, lemon juice, teriyaki sauce, pickling spice and herbes de provence and then covering them in 3 different BBQ sauces with hickory smoke on the BBQ for 5 or so minutes. Mmm.

I ate surrounded by extended family listening to their entertaining stories. I mindfully appreciate this time. Another great day. Another great adventure. Only thing is, I have no internet to post this. Dang.

Phoenix, Sedona and Seductive food

Adventures with maman to Pheonix, Sedona and Canyon Ranch Health Retreat. I like writing when I travel away from home. And so I do.

Day 1

Phoenix, Arizona

I stepped outside this morning and the fact it was 40 degrees difference with Edmonton’s weather yesterday morning felt so surreal. This city is certainly not living on sheer ice where one almost needs spikes under their boots to ensure no falls. Other than the warmth, the first thing I noticed was how incredibly clean and well up-kept Phoenix is. It seems the Canadian cold does a fair number on houses, buildings and roads not to mention bare land has a much harder time hiding garbage.

My mom’s suggested number one spot of the day: Wholefoods Market where my eyes lite up as it did in Vancouver last summer shopping at my adult candy store. I love this store and this was the biggest one yet. It has everything a nutrient rich addict could want. I could eat there for the rest of my life and be plenty happy. Of course I had to pretend this addiction didn’t exist as I stayed focused on lunch, fresh coconut water and a yoga CD before our departure to Sedona.

Sipping liquid gold out of a coconut in Sedona

On the road to Sedona

The drive out of Pheonix was still feeling quite proper, no garbage, large lanes, dry land, cactus and a few trees.  And then I spotted it, or was it? A logo luring me into my second addiction; decaf dry grande cappuccino at starbucks; my love, my weakness. This weakness was soon rewarded as it scored us a free nights stay in Sedona. Apparently the tourist information store beside this deviant coffee shop has a promotion offering up to 3 free hotel nights to anyone who is over 25, making over $40 000, not married and willing to attend a 90 mins. seminar on timeshares. Oh if you are married and not traveling with your husband you don’t qualify. Hehe. And so I signed up and off we were resuming our journey feeling just a little luckier.

Fiery Sedona

Highlighting Sedona's architecture

Sedona greeted us with amazing architecture, fiery rich coloured rocks, stunning scenery and the biggest juniper trees ever. It is said to be a magical place with Shamans, powerful gems, artists and sunsets highlighting its fire. We checked in to our free room with a most luxurious view and took a stroll on the ‘commercial’ ave where I found 20 years old aged vinegar. Yum. This shop had oil and vinegar tasting from strawberry to lavender lime vinegar. How could I not buy into this after making balsamic dressing for almost everyday of my life

Sunset in Sedona

The day ended with one of the best raw food/vegan café I have ever been to! Two nutrient rich fixes in one day, score. This place is called Chocolatree and their food was most orgasmic down to licking every finger at least twice. We started withThai Spring Rolls prepared with fresh basil and mint and split a raw Taco and vegan Burrito as we sipped on our tincture infused tea topped off by indulging in a slice of raw spiced pie. Pure Love, awesome day.

My maman sporting the sky just outside Sedona

Emotional Condoms for Up-and-Coming Relationships

The following was submitted by a fabulous Ninjawitch sister, thank you! If you have any stories, articles, wisdom or courage you would like to share please let me know.

 

What is better than being 37, dealing with a heartache from a most lust-filled relationship, only to feel alone at the end of the day, hitting your head on the same wall of fear that seems to destroy budding relationships time and time and time again?

Being 17, going through your first heartbreak and feeling as though the world is about to end.

There are so many similarities: the body shuts down, motivation escapes you followed by logical thought. ‘Why me’ questions arise and pain looms at the core of your heart as you feel you are living your life in slow motion. Then there are differences: intense frustrations felt as to the cyclical nature of such demise, wonders as to whether you will ever get it right and the subtle comfort that just maybe this one time great wisdom with come out of this pain and shield you from making the same mistake, over and over again.

So what is this wall of fear that eventually seems to be found amongst the pleasantries and passion in a maturing relationship? This fear that in turns ends up destroying many new passionate relationships rather than the actual reasons feared destroying this seed of lust.

The fear of having our lives change, fear of loosing a part of ourselves, fear of loosing our friends, fear of seeing our single lifestyle change, fear of thinking our girl friend will one day become more cute than the sexy fox that she is, fear of falling into a comfort zone rather than nurturing a relationship based on passion, fear of being responsible and accountable to someone other than just yourself, fear that serving kindness and giving to another will turn into feeling resentful of what you left behind, fear of not finding that healthy balance of give and take, of joining your life with another path. And ultimately the fear of taking the risk that something’s will change in your life.

So what does a relationship actually mean? In this sense the dictionary seems to explain it as ‘A romantic and passionate attachment’.  When you attach entities together you get a new entity. It transforms itself. You can still have the pieces within this new attachment but together it becomes something new.

Basically it is foolish to think you can be in a relationship with someone and have nothing change. It is the essence of a relationship. So if you are scared of being in a relationship, of attaching yourself, of growing with someone, of nurturing what you are growing, then simply don’t be in relationship. You’re not ready. Relationships in itself will already be faced with multiple challenges that have nothing to do with 75% of the fears found in relationships where people should probably not even be in, in the first place.

Take out your emotional condom. Be responsible and engage in relationships when you understand what a relationship means to you and to the other. Don’t be in a relationship that leaves you vulnerable to deal with fears that don’t have to do with your relationship but rather issues around the very essence of being in a relationship in the first place. This only ends up hurting, hurting people who have nothing to do with these premature fears.

So here’s advice from someone who’s engages in more “new” relationships than has fingers and toes, next time you’re on a date and are seeking a relationship, perhaps ask this person if they understand the very meaning of a relationship and be clear about what a relationship means to you. Don’t be afraid to probe and bring out the drawing board to make sure you’re on the same page and eventually the same path, although that’s a whole other relationship issue.

A blossoming romantic relationship doesn’t have to be highjack by pre-mature ejaculation … I mean fear. It’s pretty simple, if you want to be in a relationship then embrace change and accept the risk this entails. For all you know it may be some of the best change you will encounter in your life as love in essence is a beautifully powerful and magical thing.  Only thing is, are you up for it?

 

Loneliness -In her own state of mind

Written by a french NinjaWitch 

Why do I feel like guys are running away from me? 

This is so frustrating, I’m tired of being by myself, feeling lonely when I can see pretty much everyone around being happy with theirs special one. I don’t get it, why me, why can I not find my special one. Why do I feel like I’m making them go away, far from me, I feel like I won’t ever meet someone, not even dating. I’m just asking for someone I can like, someone I could spend some good time with, not feeling all by myself. What am I doing wrong all this time? Am I not taking enough care of myself? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not girly enough? This is so frustrating…. I can try to like myself but why is there no body that wants to do the same?

 It’s getting harder and harder to make it look like my life doesn’t just revolve around my work and in reality I’m trying to convince myself of this when I actually know that I want to spend more time at work because that’s the only place where I don’t feel lonely or at least for awhile.

I’m tired of getting my emotion going up and down…down every time my thoughts comes back about being lonely. I’m tired of putting that fake mask on my face so no one even my close friend can see how I actually really feel. I’m really tired, whether I look to meet new people or not it doesn’t matter, I still feel like I’m failing, I feel like I can’t get to do anything right. I’m going nowhere.

 Why can I not find the happiness I feel I deserve? Maybe because I don’t really deserve it? I’m tired of crying at night, watching sad movies, sad music. Why am I doing this to myself?

 People always tells me “it will come”. Well guess what, I’m tired of waiting, I’ve been waiting since I’m a teenager, never really dated, guys never saw me as a attractive women before and they don’t seem like they do now. I just don’t get it.

 I’m happy to see my people around me being happy but what about me. I just feel like I should leave all this and just go somewhere where there is nobody. There I wouldn’t have any expectations to not be lonely because I would really be alone.

 WHY????

 I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong here, I really don’t know…

I always try to make sure that my people are fine, I do everything for them, listen to them when they need me, do my best pretty much everyday and that’s what I get in return?

Why? I don’t see what else I could do to be a better person…

I’m not like most women and as I can see, most women have someone that like them. Why can I not get the same thing? I can’t lose a lot more weight or I will look sick, I try to take good care of myself so what? What is it?

Maybe I’m not girly enough, maybe that’s why guys are not interested by me…

Maybe it’s because I know what I want but shouldn’t that be a good thing, I think.

Maybe because they don’t always understand what I’m talking about with my accent, because I don’t speak perfect English yet?

What the fuck is it?

Not having anybody in my life makes it really hard to control my emotion sometimes, I guess I could work more or have more friends would probably help me but it’s not the case. I can count my friends on one hand, that is the amount of friends I have and every time it’s always the same one who “hang out” with me. But I can’t always hang out with her, she is so busy, friends, family and just personal stuff. I can’t keep asking her to do stuff because I know at one point like all the others she will find me really annoying which is not what I want. The other ones all have boyfriends that come first. I got tired of asking them to do something because I feel like if they are finding excuses every time I want to do something.

Maybe if I would have more friends who are a bit more willing to spend some time with me, maybe I wouldn’t feel as much lonely????

All this is so stupid because this is reality and in reality no one has much time for friends. Too busy, which is understandable, the problem it’s me, I got too much time on my hands…

I don’t like my life, I don’t…. Ok my job its ok I guess but when I think that the only time I do socialising is at work with 80% of people that I don’t even know because they are customer, this is a problem.

Maybe am I just asking for too much?? Maybe I can’t have it all, a boyfriend, a good job. It seems like I only deserve a good job but I will stay by myself…OOHHH fuck….

I’m tired of crying, I’m tired, tired, FUCKING TIRED… Is it so hard to understand???

I’m trying to convince myself that I should leave this town but would it really help?? Don’t think so, its not as much the town the problem, it just me, that’s it…..

Why can’t I just be happy like everybody else?? Why can I not be like by somebody else like everyone around? Im probably the one who causes all this.

I’m crazy, that’s it.

Maybe “who ever is in control of the world” does it like this because I’m not “made” for a relationship? I never though of that. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to have a good relationship? Maybe because I would be too dependant or I wouldn’t be able to handle a relationship?

Why can I not find just one person that would just care a bit for me, that would like to spend a bit of time with me? Why is it so hard to find someone that would want to make me laugh? I really don’t see what I do wrong to push them away. What the fuck is my problem???

I guess I could be sexier with different clothes but I’m too shy and I don’t think I’m sexy anyways. I could put makeup but no I don’t like it either. I could do my hair pretty much everyday but why should I take 2 hours of my time to get ready before work? Because I would do like most women and maybe by becoming one of them I wouldn’t feel as much lonely anymore because by becoming one of them I would maybe find someone… I always told myself that I would NEVER become one of them but maybe it’s the only solution I have left? Fucking bullshits.

Maybe sometimes I feel that I want a child because I wouldn’t feel as much lonely and I would have some love back in return and I wouldn’t have to wondering why “friends” wont do anything with me because  I would be busy too with taking care of someone already.

 I don’t fucking know anymore, je suis tellement pathetique….

 I hate it……

 What else can I say? Nothing else apparently b/c I keep saying the same stuff all over again.

 So for all those reasons, that’s why guys a running away from me and maybe its not a bad thing because I’m crazy.

A video that uses 1554 pictures to express 1 message

At times there is more felt deeply within regarding our beauty culture than I can express outwardly with words. At times it feels overwhelming negative. This video expresses part of the struggle behind beauty standards, body image and being accepted socially, so beautifully. A must watch.

Just feeling urrrrr.

I’m really tired of not writing, of ranting, of releasing. I seem to be overly busy these days, what’s F&^%ing new? My whole life has consisted of overly busyness where boredom becomes a luxury. Even now I shouldn’t be writing, I should be reading, studying, emailing people, writing a book report. Well FUCK it, in the best way possible.  There was a time in my life when life slowed down for me, where I actually felt on top of things, where I actually found time to spend leisurely time doing things I love such as arts and crafts and outdoor activities. Now I have to book these plenty in advance and forget the arts and craft part, ya not happening at all. Who does that as an adult anymore anyways. Do we stop because no time allows for it? Or is it simply because these days are just over?

So back to this one time in my life, this time was rural BC living near a town called Winlaw also close to Nelson. I was more than poverty struck when it came to what capitalism deems as important but I was rich in time and felt a lot more in control of my life. Playing catch up wasn’t a part of my life, enjoying nature for what it is was.

In Winlaw enjoying one of nature's gems; food.

Something else that bugs me these days is how much we accept being superficial, how much time and money so many of us spend seeking it, how many of us ultimately are negatively affected by it when we are not the prettiest girl in the room. And when I say “us” I’m mostly referring to womyn here because I can’t stop but notice how many men just don’t spend nearly 1/10^th of the time womyn do on their superficial being. Yes it’s fun to play dress up but does it really have to consume our everyday lives everywhere we go. Recently I found out that at hockey games employees actually get in trouble if they showcase unattractive womyn on screen, because yes it is definitely a pre-requisite to be attractive in order to be a hockey fan. Dicks!

And then the city I live in recently has one thing on their mind other than sexing themselves up: the grey cup. The news won’t even announce what the weather is today but rather replaced the word today with grey cup. Sports is such a sexist affair in our society. When the fuck do womyn assemble in a city at over 200 000 for any event for that matter? Men have football, hockey, basetball, fast car races and womyn have manicures, pedicures, clothes shopping to accompany these fans at events where fried food, drunkenness and ups and downs, depending on the scores, accompanies the event.  And they say womyn are hormonal. Exclamation mark.

I guess feeling this pissed means I care and am alive and well, cheers to that! And off I go trying to keep up with my day.  This time however, I’m feeling just a little less stuffy.

Growing up to be pretty

Amazing, passionate and powerful piece on growing up to be pretty by Katie Makkai:

“The word pretty is unworthy of anything you will be and no child of mine will be contained in 5 letters. You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing but you will never be merely pretty.”

Marie-Josée, Olympic Weightlifter, Wins 4th at Commonwealth Games

My sister amazed us with all her might beating her personal best at the Commonwealth Games and placing 4th in Olympic weightlifting. Watching her on a live stream channel on the web with an air card was like watching the scariest movie as a kid with an antenna you are moving around to desperately try and get a picture you’re not really sure you want to watch.  My palms were drenched in sweat as I could feel my heartbeat pounding. If I was feeling this nervous so far away and removed, I couldn’t imagine what is was like to be her.

The camera zoomed in on her pacing before her first lift. And then came the moment we were but weren’t waiting for, there she was on the platform bending down for the bar, holding on to it so tight. As she attempted to lift, she failed and had to let go of the bar. My heart sank. Did she attempt to try a higher weight than she was capable? She is a high achiever but was this going to get in the way of her performance? I just wanted to go through the computer screen and give her a big hug (something she is not a fan of but maybe at this moment she would be).

How was she going to get her 2nd lift up when her muscles were now more exhausted? I closed my eyes very tight and wished so very hard for her! Opening up one eye lid, there she was grabbing the bar for a second time and with her next exhale she started lifting giving it everything she had. There was no way that bar wasn’t going over her head. You could just tell in her face, she was giving everything she had. And for the next 5 lifts it was the same. The bar went over her head every time. These pictures show us a glimpse of this and so much more. These pictures are worth a 1000 words and some.

Truly Amazing.

My sister, My Shero!

 

Marie-Josée, Olympic Weightlifter, at Commonwealth Games.

 

 

Marie-Josée, Olympic Weightlifter, at Commonwealth Games.

 

 

 

My favourite picture! Marie-Josée, Olympic Weightlifter, at Commonwealth Games.